Jamie Lynn Spears appeared on the cover of OK! magazine Wednesday, July 9 with little Maddie. Yes, the baby is cute. Yes, Jamie Lynn is a beaming and proud mom, but I would be too if someone just paid me (a rumored) $1 million for a photo of my child, even with an episiotomy, no shower, and breast engorgement.
Her hair is perfectly done, highlighted and styled to make her look older than 17. She doesn't show any signs of fatigue or a care in the world. Just a teenage girl holding her precious child.
Ironically, Hher website (www.JamieLynnSpears.com) makes no mention of the pregnancy or the birth of Maddie (last entry from last September). It still opens to a young girl's diary and fun photos of Jamie Lynn acting like a typical, happy teen.
The thing that troubles me about this situation is not that she had a child (she could have aborted once she found out she was pregnant), but what this entire situation represents. This magazine paid an extrordinary amount of money to get the first pics of this famous teen's baby that many of us will buy, read, and talk about. It's going to be in the news, on the entertainment shows, and probably the butt of a few jokes. Tween and teen girls all over the country will see her over and over again and may start to think "wow, she's got it all", money, cute fiance, money, supportive family, money, and a healthy baby.
Who wouldn't want that?
The want to feel needed, loved, and to belong to someone or a group is inherently strong. You see animals of all intelligence levels do this and humans are no different. Babies fill that gap for women and men of all ages, teenagers would be no different. Problem is with teens, they are unskilled, under educated, and lack of a better word, clueless (I use the term with great affection) about the world that lies outside their comfort zones.
Case and point, Gloucester, Massachusetts, where seventeen girls in a school population of 1,200, became pregnant after making a pact "to raise their children together". Did any of these girls understand what that meant? Feedings every two to three hours, colic, fevers, colds, diapers, not to mention how many of them planned to drop out of school to raise their children. What will they do for money? For food?
This small fishing community of 30,000, usually sees about 4 teen pregnancies a year. None of the girls are married and it has not been reported if any of the girls plan to marry the fathers of their children.
Jamie Lynn Spears is in a very small class of people. She's rich and if her dad has helped with her finances, she should be set for life. Her family is attentive and supportive, she never had to worry about being kicked out or shunned by friends and family when she announced she was pregnant at 16yo. At appears her fiance has been by her side from the beginning and looks like will stick around.
Unfortunately, many girls out there won't have anything close to Jamie Lynn's situtation.
According to Teenpregnancy.org, the statistics released by the CDC reports there has been a decline in teen pregnancies from 1990 to 2004, but the National Institute of Health (NIH) released numbers on July 10, reporting that teen pregnancies were up for the first time in fifteen years. There is no understanding of the rise in rates, an official said it could be a "blip" in the numbers.
Of those teens who do have babies, if not married at the time of the child's birth, a large number of them will not get married to the father of the child. Many of these girls will end up on welfare, abused, homeless, or in dead-end relationships and possibly perpetuating the cycle of young, unmarried mothers who can't support themselves, again unlike Jamie Lynn.
I want to emphasize that I don't blame Jamie Lynn Spears for this increase. I doubt when that blue line showed up on her pregnancy test nine months ago, Jamie Lynn jumped up and down and said "yeah! I get to be a teen mom role model for the world! Right on!" Her fears of the unknown surely overwhelmed her and cost her a great amount of tears sleep, but in the end, she is financially secure and appears to have supportive people around her. Good for her for being a "grown-up" and taking responsibility for her body and her child. (The arguement that she shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place is another hot topic.)
Is she entitled to look great after having a child? Absolutely, but why are they making her look five to seven years older? Did she suddenly age in a few weeks because she had a baby?
Does her having a baby make it alright for other teens to get pregnant and those who think so, are they going to expect all the wonderful appearing things that Jamie Lynn seems to have?
Some would say she's encouraging girls to get pregnant, making teen pregnancy look glamourous. I think that's a load, because again, I doubt that was her plan. The people making it look glamourous are the media outlets who are willing to pay millions of dollars for photos of a this baby. And we are to blame for buying the magazines.
As parents, it's easy to point to people like Jamie Lynn and say "see what she's doing to our children?", but when the end of the day comes, we are responsible for teaching our children the best paths in life to take and why, not celebrties, not sports figures, not models.
Many of us moms pray our girls will not be in this situation, but what are we each planning to say or do about it to ensure our girls won't be? Knowledge is power and enpowering your children is the best defense a child has for making their life choices the best possible.
For those of you shaking your heads, saying "if I bring it up, that will only make them curious and they'll want to do it." Get your head out of the sand! If you don't talk to your children about sex, this can set up a situation that can make them more curious about what "it" is.
You think talking to you daughters about sex is only going to encourage them? Think again--it has been proven that when teens and tweens know what "having sex" actually involves, what the consequences are, and what the responsibilities can be, many choose to abstain from intercourse. Who do you want them getting information from you (no matter how embarassing it might be) or their friends who may be clueless (again, that word again) and giving them tips on sex that may or may not be true or even dangerous?
With the teen pregnancy on the rise and recent media coverage of teen pregnancies, what are you doing to help navigate your daughter's or son's way on this path of life?
comments
My husband and I believe in staying pure until marriage. Besides wanting to please God, we waited because we wanted to pass on those same moral values to our daughter (and future children). "Actions speak louder than words." We didn't plan on having a baby so soon into our marriage, but we definitely wouldn't trade parenthood for anything. We are FAR from perfect, but we do want to be good examples for our children and teach them about our own mistakes. Because teen pregnancies are on the rise, abortions, number of single parents, and divorce are rising as well. Having a good, healthy relationship is hard work by itself. Adding a baby to the mix, requires more work physically and even more emotional,mental, and spiritual strength. Unfortunately, teen girls are not the only ones with fantasies about being a mom. Yes, it's extremely rewarding but a lot of hard work. Not only are teens getting pregnant, but a lot of young adults (20s) are doing things backwards...living with boyfriends/fiances, getting pregnant, then getting married.
Jamie Lynn has the fantasy life of what most teens think becoming a mom is. Like many other women, I was also a teen mom. I was fortunate since I had a strong family support system. Fortunately for me, 26 years later I am still with my childrens' father. That is rare, and I realize I was lucky. Parents need to talk to their daughters and sons. Don't shield them from the stories. My sons are 8 and 11 and we had a conversation about Jaime Lynn. I just had my 4th child and they thought it was dumb that she was pregnant, because she was a kid. It was also confusing to them, becuase they saw their mom, an adult, pregnant and a girl they saw on TV pregnant. Parents keep talking to them. Kids understand if you speak to them. Just let them ask their questions. At least they are speaking to you, giving you the opportunity to teach them.
- Ninjetta
- posted on 7/16
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View All CommentsI was a teen mom. I had my kids at 13, 15, and 18. I also was one of the rare cases because I married the father of my children young and am still married to him. I was able to finish school, go to college, and build a stable healthy environment for my children. I am not rich, but my husband and I can take care of our children without welfare. Unfortunately, my friends were closer to the statistics. One married the father of her kids and was divorced a year and a half later. The others didn't stay with the father. None of the girls finished high school when they were supposed to and all ended up gatting some sort of government benefits.
This article glamorizes an exceptional case. The reality of teen pregnancy is one of heartache, crushed expectations, and a harder life. Almost all the girls that I have talked to do not have any support, financially or from their family. I started talking to my daughters early and kept that communication open so they feel that they can talk to me about anything no matter how sensitive the topic. As a unseen side effect my oldest daughter's friends talk to me about sex because they don't feel comfortable talking to their own parents. This is a big problem when a child doesn't feel comfortable with their own parents. The show Baby Borrowers is a little closer to reality.